since the shake

I haven't been able to stop dreaming of earthquakes. I will have a few nights of non earthquake dreams, and then the shake dreams will come back. Lately, they've been earthquake dreams of my house. I don't think these dreams are difficult to interpret. The first one I had once I got home, my house was cracking in half because the shake was so violent. My family didn't think it was a problem and refused to leave the house, stapling the huge crack instead and saying it was fine to live in and not to worry.

The second one, I was in my grandma's house and the living room started spinning because of the shaking and no one payed attention until I forced them to leave the house because houses in Wisconsin aren't built for earthquakes. After that shake I got on a bus that I had been riding somewhere with a guy I used to hang out with named Mike. I was looking for Mike but couldn't find him anywhere and when I did find him, he was indifferent.

I also often have dreams where I'm just waking up and I am convinced there's an earthquake but I can't force myself awake to run away.

I feel like I shouldn't be as affected as I am by it all but I am affected. I still feel emotional over it and it feels like it's all being swept under something, like it's not something I should talk about anymore. I wonder if it was a mistake to leave the people who were supporting me there, the people who understood what was happening and the true magnitude of it. At least I'm not alone in my house and that was truly one of my biggest struggles in Japan: being alone. I need to trust that God has a plan and has ordered my steps. I still think I made the right decision and He will work it out. I just need to keep working!